Taking a short sabbatical . . .

I know I haven't been consistent lately regarding posting comments in a timely fashion, but this time I'm issuing a warning.

Tomorrow morning I am embarking on a new adventure. I will be in training in Los Angeles for a new position and I'm very excited about it. I'm taking my laptop, and I know the hotel has WiFi in the room for a charge, but it all depends what the charge is as to whether I'll be on line and blogging.

Wish me luck!

Networking 101 in traffic

I spent 15 (yes, 15) hours Friday (6am to 9 pm) with three good friends. Oh, what fun we had. We drove to Chicago to attend a wholesale jewelry & accessories show. On the way back, we took the Skyway, thinking it would be quicker than our normal route. Boy, were we wrong.

There's is MAJOR construction on the Skyway which of course we didn't know about. It took us 2-1/2 hours to get from O'Hare Airport area to the Indiana state line. But there wasn't a dull moment.

I know all of these women because of my consignment store:

Kate, who is a shopaholic, wandered into my first store almost 10 years ago and we became friends quickly. She makes her own jewelry (exotic, one-of-a-kind, not the simple bead stuff). She goes to the show to buy high-end fine jewelry for herself and to buy beads and other findings for her business.

Betty owns a wonderful consignment store in Perrysburg and we've been good friends for at least 6 years (see a previous post about how unusual - and delightful - it is to have a competitor for a friend). She goes to the show primarily to buy designer fragrances and gifts for friends.

Sandee and her sisters used to own consignment stores and I met her through Betty. She goes to the show to buy for herself and her friends and large family.

We all are talkers - and laughers. Oh, how we laughed - quick wits and funny stories (no jokes, just true stuff that's happened to us) abounded.

None of these women belong to any of the formal networking organizations that I do. (Of course, any group is an informal network.) I was asked why networking has worked so well for me. Why do I belong to so many (4 at last count) and why does it help my business?

My answer was about the value of developing relationships and the concept of "Givers Gain." How you just give and give and give and you are bound at some point to benefit.

The example I gave was a woman who is producing a maternity project in September. I met with her (she indeed was wondering, "Why in the world does this stranger want to take me to lunch?"), found out what she needed, and subsequently sent out e-mails to over 350 people who might be able to help her, offered to help financially support her project, took her to a networking event and introduced her to people who also have committed to help her on the day of the project.

So one of my friends asked if she's been to my store yet. I said, "Not yet. And she might never. But she'll remember how I helped her. She knows that I'm someone who walks the walk and the talk."

I think it was hard for my friends to understand this concept. How I 'gave' but didn't yet 'get.'

How could I explain this better to people who are not networkers in the traditional business sense?

Let me tell you about our friends, the Ansaras

Two of our best friends are Marlene Ansara-Lederman and her husband Scott. We first met Marlene while hanging out at our favorite "watering hole" where she was the service manager. Over time, a bunch of us - at least a dozen - developed relationships that included lots of parties, weddings and other fun events.

Over the years, we developed even closer friendships with not only Marlene and her son Samuel, but also with several of her siblings and their spouses and kids. We'd heard about her brother Kameel who with his wife Jackie owned Ansara's Boardroom, a popular downtown Toledo restaurant, but we never went there.

Kameel suffered a severe work-related injury and was forced to close the Boardroom. He vowed to never go into the restaurant business again. (Aside: Restaurants have always been the lifeblood of this Ansara family - from the Bungalow to Joey's Supper Club and others.)

But in October of 2004, Kameel and Jackie opened Ansara's Steakhouse on Laskey Road near Douglas in the old "Adam's Place/Adam's Ribs" building.

And thus another relationship began - one with not only Kameel and Jackie, but with their food. You will find us at Ansara's Steakhouse one to three nights a week. Sure we love the people, but, man, do we love the food.

There's always people we know - some of the old gang have fallen by the wayside, but even more great folks joined the fold. We take other people there frequently, both singles and couples. If the restaurant was open at lunch, they would see even more of us. But, alas, they're not.

So how can I convince everyone who reads this blog to give them a try? Their food is fantastic - some traditional American fare, Lebanese favorites, homemade desserts to die for . . . you get the idea. Special features every week (http://www.ansarassteakhouse.com/) always including an $8.95 "comfort food" special.

Marlene is manager and bartends every night of the week except one (they're open Mon-Sat). She's been voted "best bartender in town" in the Toledo City Paper poll. Wait staff is attentive and friendly (one of them, Bonnie, works for me part-time in the store). Kameel is the cook - he humbly says he is "not a chef, just the cook." But you will always find him out in the restaurant whenever he gets a spare minute - mingling with the patrons, making sure everything is okay and everyone's having a good time.

When you check them out, look for us in the bar.

So what is your favorite hangout and what makes it special?

What was she thinking?

Yesterday she came in dressed in raggedy jeans and a bar t-shirt. Which was better than last time a few weeks ago when she came in wearing flip-flops and what looked like pajamas.

I’m not talking about a customer or consignor (and frankly, I don’t care how they dress when they come in). I’m not even talking about the same woman. I’m talking about women who have come in to apply for a job!!!!

And it’s not an age thing - the first time she was probably in her 20’s and yesterday she was probably in her 40’s.

I don’t get it. You come into a business establishment that you’ve never been in before (I knew they hadn't) and that you know nothing about and you look like either

1) you just got out of bed or

2) you’re on your way to the closest biker bar or

3) both of the above.

She asked if I’m hiring and/or if I have an application she can fill out. (For those of you who may find this blog by accident, I sell women’s clothing and accessories, new and resale.)

What I did each time: Smile and nicely say, “No, sorry I’m not.”

What I wanted to do each time: Smile and nicely say, “No, but even if I was, I would be interested in someone who knew enough to dress nicely to even come in and ask.” or

“Didn’t your mother teach you any better?” or

“You don’t know anything about this store. You need to learn about a place before applying for a job and you certainly need to dress better.”

W hat I’m going to do next time: Smile and nicely say, “No, I’m not right now. But if you have a job interview in the future, I’d love to help you find some great yet inexpensive interview clothes. You only get one chance to make a good first impression and we can help you do that.”

Do you have any "inappropriately dressed" stories?

Hindsight is always 20/20, or is it?

I need to get this out of my system - I believe in positive attitude, that your thoughts control your mood, and that negative attracts negative. But I want to share this and ask for your opinion. And then I'm going to 'let it go.'

Today I went to a community event with a friend. She seemed to know just about every other person we ran into. She gracefully introduced me to those whose name she could remember. As we joined three friends of hers at a table, she introduced me by name and then told them that I owned Sandy's Stuff.

The man at the table couldn't have cared less. I knew one of the women who used to (very rarely) come in to the store. The other woman (64-year-old professional woman) said, "What's that?"

I told her it's a woman's consignment store.

Then, and you've got to believe me here, she immediately turned up
her nose and said (quite loudly), "A big g -- d--- garage sale!"

I was speechless. I'm sure my jaw dropped open. I said nothing. I couldn't think quick enough. My friend simply said something like, "Well, Sandy has nice things in her store." And their conversation proceeded on to another topic.

I still said nothing. After another minute (at the most), I got up and walked away. When my friend caught up with me several minutes later, I asked her how she knew the woman. She responded that she was one of her best friends.

But the things I later thought of to say:

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"Do you know you said that out loud?"

"How rude!"

But I said nothing. My friend Debby is probably proud of me thinking that I took the higher ground - that I didn't stoop to her level (from which I would have had better leverage to kick her in the a--) - but I actually said nothing because I was so shocked, that no words came to me.

What would you have done? What would you have said? Would you think a little differently about the friend who introduced you?

Random questions (or why is my mind so screwy?)

I recently took up the challenge from a friend to disclose 8 random things about myself. I did it and in turn, challenged four friends to do the same. Thanks to friends Terry and Merri for rising to the challenge. Haven't heard from the other two.

I was quickly able to formulate 8 things - but not without thinking of some other, more personal items. I ended up not writing about those things mainly because it would disclose information about other people that they probably wouldn't appreciate.

As I try to think of random thoughts in general, I came up with many that are questions. So sue me . . .

1. Do you know that Oregon the city and Oregon the state are pronounced differently?

2. What is the purpose of a "soul patch" and why the heck is it called that?

3. Why do I prefer e-mailing most people rather than calling them on the phone?

4. I do not know my next-door neighbor. I do know the people on one side of us but we don't speak to each other. We put up a privacy fence about six years ago because they weren't cleaning up after their large dogs and the "O deau canine" was quite unpleasant but they claimed the fence blocks sun and some of their grass died. We continue to try to be friendly to no avail. If you know them, could you tell them we're nice people?

But I know nothing about people who live on the other side. I don't know if they're young or old, black or white, or how many of them there are. Isn't that strange? By the way, we've lived here for almost 32 years.

I don't do yard work; we don't have small children; our block doesn't have block parties (that I know of); I've always worked full-time; I lived in Cleveland for 10 years from 1985-95; we don't have a front porch; because of how the houses are situated, we can't see their house from ours - do these things exonerate me from being a bad neighbor?

So what are some of the strange things about you that you're willing to share?

I felt just like a kid again . . .

and I had a smile on my face the whole time.

I'm talking about fireworks - good, old-fashioned (well, maybe not) Fourth of July fireworks.

We had a wonderful holiday. We spent most of the day with good friends - eating great food, soaking up the sun, watching the kids (both big ones and little ones) playing in the swimming pool - and then we all went down to watch the Mud Hens (Toledo's minor league baseball team who play in what "Newsweek" magazine has called "The best ball park in the minor leagues.")

My husband and I have season tickets and on many nights, there are fireworks after the game. But we never stay. 'The husband' never wants to - "It's always the same. If you've seen them once, etc., etc., etc. And we haven't gone Downtown for the city's firework display in at least 15 to 20 years because 'there are too many people. It takes forever to get out after the fireworks are over.'

But last night, he actually enjoyed them. He jokingly said, "Gosh, Sandy, I don't know why we don't stay for the fireworks every time." I smacked him.

When I told him that I thought I had a smile on my face the entire time (total of at least 25 minutes of the stadium's and the city's shows), he said, "So did I."

I don't consider myself very patriotic. But last night, I couldn't help but think about what the celebration is all about and I was proud to be an American.

So how did you spend the 4th?